


Give Me Love

by sangha



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Fluff and Angst, M/M, cas is not happy, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-23
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-26 05:55:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1677233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sangha/pseuds/sangha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on the music video for Ed Sheeran's Give Me Love. Castiel is an angel who brings everyone love, but cannot find it for himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give Me Love

Castiel was quite alone in his apartment. He knew what he had to do; it was his job, after all. Still, he resented it. Why was he condemned to this lonely existence when his whole life centered on making people less lonely? There he was, older than any human mind could ever comprehend and utterly lonely. His home did not feel like a home at all. He couldn’t even bring himself to buy an actual bed; his ‘bed’ was a mattress on the floor. It was all a farce anyway; he did not need sleep. So he sat on his mattress waiting for night to fall.

When night finally came, Castiel let out a resigned sigh. He started to scratch his back. The scratching became more and more frantic until the skin cracked in several places. He still continued scratching until he found what he was looking for. His fingers stilled for a moment and then started pulling. He pulled out a black feather, the blood creating a red sheen. He winced as the feather came out, but he did not seem too fazed by the whole ordeal. 

Castiel’s hands were in his lap when another feather came out of his back through the same wound, except this one did not fall to the floor. More feathers appeared, out of the other wounds as well, until he had a full pair of wings. The wings spanned the entire width of the room but they did not touch anything. Only Castiel could observe and feel the wings. 

He sat down at his desk, the only piece of furniture he actually used. He took one of the arrows lying on the desk and sharpened it. His movements were slow and precise. It took a while, but finally all the arrows on the desk were sharpened. He took his bow and left the apartment.

The streets were still buzzing with life. People were just starting to go out. Everywhere Castiel could see friends and couples smiling and laughing and talking. It made him feel even more alone. None of the humans could observe his bow and arrows, much like his wings. He saw two women walking down a deserted street. They were walking arm in arm, but it was a friendly gesture, not a romantic one. At least it was, until Castiel aimed his arrow at one of the women and hit her in the heart. She could not feel the arrow, but she could most definitely feel the change. She pushed the other woman against the nearest wall and kissed her. The other woman responded immediately. Castiel smiled. Even though this job made him feel lonely, it was moments like this he lived for. 

He continued finding possible matches and making them definite matches. With every arrow that hit its mark, the pain in his chest grew. He didn’t even technically have a heart, yet now he felt it ache. He ended up in a club, people crowding around him. He started to feel dizzy, the loneliness really overwhelming him. He did not have a single friend, much less a lover. The feeling was smothering him. He walked around the club, completely dazed. All over the dance floor Castiel stabbed people with his arrows, only aggravating his heartache. The only thing he wanted was for someone to find him. He wanted one of his unknown colleagues to shoot him with one of their arrows. But that was never going to happen. Castiel was an angel and angels like him were condemned to a solitary life. 

After the chaos of the club, Castiel found a quiet coffee shop. He needed to come to his senses, clear his head. He’d never done anything like that before. He just walked into the club, not even paying attention to the people there, just hitting them with his arrows over and over and over again. Maybe he had created terrible matches. Maybe he’d done something terrible by not paying attention. His job required care, attention, patience. Not chaos. He was glad the coffee shop was mostly empty. There was just the barista and one other customer. He couldn’t do much harm here. 

The other customer looked at him strangely. Castiel sat down, trying to ignore the man, but he felt drawn to his gaze. The man was staring at him with big green eyes. It was as if he noticed something strange about Castiel, but the angel knew he looked just like any other human being. The barista brought him his tea and he decided to focus on that and just ignore the man. 

\---

Dean was alone in the coffee shop. It didn’t surprise him; after all, it was 2 in the morning. Not many people need caffeine at 2 AM. But then, Dean wasn’t there for coffee. He was there for peace and quiet. He just wanted to gather his thoughts for a while. He pulled out a book, just so it would look like he was actually doing something as opposed to just sitting there like a creep. He didn’t want to make the barista uncomfortable. 

Dean’s thoughts were disrupted when another man entered the tiny shop. He had dark, messy hair and a slight scruff. His trench coat looked quite battered and he was wearing a suit that didn’t seem to fit him very well. As the man sat down, Dean thought he saw a peculiar shadow behind him. He blinked a few times, but the shadow remained. It looked as if the man had wings behind him. The thought alone was absurd, yet the shadow was most definitely there and there was nothing in the shop that could cause a shadow like that. The man noticed his staring and looked at him, his head cocked to one side like a puppy. The barista brought the other man his order and the man stared at his mug. 

Dean looked at the man for a few more moments. He was still confused by the wing shape behind him, but what really grabbed his attention was the man’s face. He looked intensely sad and confused. He couldn’t help himself; he stood up and walked over to the man’s table. 

“Mind if I sit down?” he asked.

The other man shrugged. It wasn’t very encouraging, but it wasn’t no. Dean sat down, facing the man. “So what brings you to a coffee shop in the middle of the night?”  
The man looked up. His eyes were a shocking blue. He smiled a little. “Same as you, I guess.” 

Dean answered his smile with one of his own. “I’m Dean,” he said after a short silence. He extended his hand.

The other man took it. “Castiel,” he said. 

Dean thought better of commenting on the man’s unusual name. He didn’t look like he would take a joke very well right now. Dean wasn’t sure how to continue the conversation. He wasn’t usually stumped like this, but he’d never struck up a conversation with anyone who looked so sad. Frankly, he was worried about the man. An awkward silence followed. Dean started to regret coming over to this table. He couldn’t just intrude in this man’s personal life. What was he thinking? 

Before he could think of something not-lame to say, Castiel spoke. “So, Dean, what made you come over to this table?” Castiel sounded legitimately confused. There was no unfriendliness to his tone, only curiosity.

Dean took a moment to consider his answer. He didn’t want to intrude. “You just looked like you could use some company,” he said. 

Castiel smiled. “I suppose I do.”

Dean noticed once again just how blue this man’s eyes were. They almost made him forget about the wing shape behind Castiel. “Yeah? Hectic job or something?” he asked carefully. Dean figured this question would not be too intrusive. 

Castiel sighed. “Or something.” Dean waited for him to continue. He was fascinated by this strange man. “My job doesn’t leave a lot of room for interaction,” Castiel finally said. 

Dean nodded understandingly. He felt sorry for Castiel. He seemed so very lonely. “Yeah, I know what you mean.” His own life was quite hectic and the only person he was close to was his brother. He wasn’t very good with relationships of any kind. 

Castiel finished his tea. “Thank you for your company, Dean, but I must be going. It’s getting quite late,” he said as he stood up. 

Before Dean could come up with something that would make Castiel want to stay, the man had already left the shop. 

\--- 

Castiel thought Dean was a nice man, he really did. But he knew there was no point in staying. There was no point in trying to get close to this man. He was even more certain now that he was destined to be alone for the remainder of his long existence. It was a depressing thought. The pain in his chest returned. 

He didn’t have anything to live for, other than his job. And his job was only causing him pain. Even though he loved making sure people found love, he began to resent the subjects. He wanted it so much for himself that it took the joy out of the job. Besides, after what happened tonight he was pretty sure he had screwed up his job anyway. 

Hopelessness engulfed him as he walked away from the coffee shop. 

\--- 

Dean took a few minutes to finish his own drink. He packed his things and left the shop as well. It was time to go home. Now that Castiel had left, the shop felt so empty that Dean didn’t want to stay there anymore. 

He only lived a few blocks from the coffee shop; another reason why he spent so much time there. He took his usual shortcut through an alley. He saw a dark shape lying on the ground, assuming it was another homeless guy. It wasn’t very unusual to find some homeless people in this city. As he came closer to the shape, he saw the man wasn’t asleep. He approached quickly; worried this person was severely hurt. 

He gasped when he realized it was Castiel lying on the ground. He had some kind of stab wound in his neck. Blood pooled on the ground, the amount quickly growing.  
“Cas!” Dean tried to find a pulse. “Hey man, wake up! Cas!” 

If Dean had not seen this with his own eyes, he would not have believed it. The blood stopped dripping from the wound, and the wound closed. Castiel’s eyes flew open, finding Dean’s face. Without saying a word, Castiel got up and pushed Dean against the wall. Dean had no idea what was happening, but he figured Castiel must be disoriented. Castiel looked at him, smiled and leaned in to kiss Dean. It was a short, soft kiss; almost chaste. Castiel pulled back, his lips still close to Dean’s. “Finally. You found me,” he said. He kissed Dean again and this time, Dean kissed him back.

**Author's Note:**

> My [tumblr](http://www.hufflepuffbuckybarnes.tumblr.com)


End file.
